fauxster farms chickens

do those puppet chickens who want so desperately to be foster farms chickens not realize the outcome of their desired fate?
do they not realize that foster farms chickens are systematically dismembered and shipped out to be consumed?
or are they just aggressively suicidal?

it's a wonderful life?

i just watched it's a wonderful life with my parents
three hours of my life i will NEVER GET BACK!!!
i hate that movie

i used to think it was that old bastard potter that made me hate the movie so much, but as i was sitting there i realized it's not that at all (well, maybe it used to be, but now...)
it's bailey's family!
he put his life on hold to stay in a town that he was desperate to escape, doing a job he didn't even remotely want to do just to appease (and clean up after) his family, putting the needs of everyone else before his own
i mean, sure, he had a great family at the end, and his friends helped him out of a tough spot (one which wasn't his fault in the first place), but it was just the consolation prize
he wanted to travel, see the world and experience life

familial obligation stole his dream!

i think my (possibly irrational) detestation of this movie is cuz i over empathize, and that movie just reminds me the consequences of not being able to stand up to my family
had i managed to grow a backbone a decade ago, i wouldn't be in the suckfest i'm currently residing in

am i over simplifying a stupidly complicated situation and pointing fingers in a childish manner?
perhaps
so what
it's my blog, and i can be as unreasonable as i want


oh, btw, merry christmas, random strangers
i wish you as minimal an amount of selfish brats throwing tantrums cuz they didn't get what they wanted as is seasonally possible

(i deserve a beer)

lemons hurt my eyes

have you ever noticed how much easier home grown lemons are to peel than store bought ones?
or am i the only one who peels lemons and eats them like oranges?
(and then forget you just peeled citrus and rub your eyes)
(it's amazing how ineffective tears are on lemon oil)

jeggings are the downfall of society

jeggings are an excellent example of what is wrong with the world today

if you don't know what those are, god bless you dear soul, you have been blissfully sheltered

now let me make your world a little less beautiful:
jeggings are the drunken lovechild of jeans and leggings
"the comfort of leggings with the style of jeans"
basically, leggings with seams and pockets printed on so "no one can tell you're wearing leggings"
bullshit!
you end up looking like a grade school drama prop gone horribly wrong

they're even worse than skinny jeans, and my feelings toward skinny jeans make my feelings toward my junior year high school english teacher seem downright amiable
(i guess that only makes sense if you know me - in short, i hated that deluded bitch)

if you wanna subject the world to you wearing leggings around, just do it
don't add the insult of pretending that no one's intelligent enough to tell that your pockets are actually ink
it's just rude!

seriously people, what the fuck?!


(yes, i just saw a commercial for jeaneez, and it made me angry)

yay goats!

goats are awesome
they discovered coffee, which i can't live without
they provide the main ingredient to feta, which i'm glad i don't have to live without
and their babies are just so adorable i wanna scream

and to those of you who say "but all babies are adorable," i say to you "no, random reader, you are wrong!"
all babies are not adorable - it takes even the most attractive genetic cocktail of human a month or two before it's passably cute, let alone adorable
"precious" is another story (it's the tactful way of commenting on a baby that is still newborn ugly but it has the baby default of still being adorable to some)

so, well done, goats


(and, yes, i did post this now just so i wouldn't have five posts in november)

pity party of one

i hate the feeling that your partner doesn't actually care whether you're around or not
it's not like i'm asking for unbridled enthusiasm, just maybe the slightest hint of "yeah, it would be nice to see you today"
instead of "are you still gonna bake bread?"
or letting you know the same day that you should show up some time in the afternoon

i think i attract apathy

i need a drink
(... "a" dozen)

blood isn't seasoning

today's words of advice:
don't use your hand as a cutting board, cuz if the knife slips you could end up getting blood in your food, and that's just gross
i prefer iron of the leafy green variety
but not kale
kale is very green
very very green