deep thoughts at one in the morning

behind every great man is an ass

his ass, to be specific

true story

(i know, my insight astonishes even me)

there's no "i" in toothpaste (unless you can't spell)

i just put cayenne pepper powder in my coffee

yes, on purpose

why? you may ask

that's an excellent question

ooh, my echinacea sprouted and i repotted the aloe vera

just planted cilantro (coriander) and am getting really impatient with the peppermint

maybe i buried them too deep

if they're still a no show by next week, i'm trying again

ps - i think if there were some massive computer glitch and i were to become a CIA agent, i'd get fired in like a week

just a random thought

now off to finish my coffee'o'fire

men are insane!

i'm not really sure what more to say than that.

i'd recount the latest in a long string of events that has led me (yet again) to this inexorable conclusion, but my brain keeps switching between being mad, and wanting to laugh at the patheticness that is the boy! it's exhausting

so i'll just leave it at this:

some people need professional help (actually, i think everybody does, but some need it more than others).

when you start telling people they should off themselves just because you don't like the way they respond to you (even offering weapon advice and tips on how to do it effectively), i think that officially qualifies you as INSANE (at least partially), and in dire need of professional help.

i need a drink.

and better taste in friends, apparently.

the drink first,though, because i just started laughing while making a fist.